Internet Investigator Gifts

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.

"I'm exercising my right to be forgotten."

We have your email.

Lawyer sees office door sign: 'Bureau of Vital Googling'

'Social networking sites used to find knife kids.'

Your data

"I'm grounded. My mom checked my browser history."

Cybercrime

Spam traps on mobiles

"I only told a few friends."

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."

Conspiracy theory

'You've got BlakcMail!'

"According to this site 98% of the statistics on the net are false!"

Policeman on the internet looking for suspect.

Psychiatry. Why go on a voyage of self-discovery when I can just Google myself?

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Alternative Medicine

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

The new Physics

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

Christopher Isherwood

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'racism is the new black.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."