Internet Scam Investigator Gifts

Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

The new Physics

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

"I only told a few friends."

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

I'd rather be phishing.

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Spam traps on mobiles

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

The Darknet starts right here.

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."