Scam Detective Gifts

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

"All of it just another front for offshore banking."

'Earn Dollars a Day by Doing Absolutely Nothing!'

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Fake medical receipt

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

First Pyramid Scheme - Dear Sir: You may have already WON a pyramid...send 100..'

STIMULUS PACKAGE ALLOCATION COMMITTEE, 'Okay, we'll take the part out about the Nigerian banker's widow.'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

If You Deposit $10,000 In The Account Of An African Prince We'll Give You A Million Dollars!

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

"It's a setup."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"See...polystyrene!"

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

Gone Phishing

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"They're not home.."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"