Scam Detector Gifts

Get rich quick giving seminars!

"We have received a request for rescue which we believe is a phishing attempt. If this was a legitimate request, please resend with proof of identification."

"You bet I'd love a free trip to Cancún."

Turtle Hat

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

Sportswasher's

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

Ask Sadie

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

'I detect you scanning my cards!'

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

Gone Phishing

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

Amateur Spam.

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

'It's time that ball-kicking cheater got his. Tell mommy that daddy loves her, Ritchie... Here I go...'

'Investing in a company whose website is Ponzischeme.come would raise red flags for me.'

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

'But monsieur I can get it for you so cheap, all the hard work has been done, it just needs the cladding.'

Maynard inadvertently goes phishing.

"Yes, you are speaking to university admissions!"

STIMULUS PACKAGE ALLOCATION COMMITTEE, 'Okay, we'll take the part out about the Nigerian banker's widow.'

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

"You mean all this time everything was really a screw?"