Scam Sniffer Gifts

Hadley K., All-Day Sucker.

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

Ask Sadie

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"He had an uncanny ability to pick up the scent of opportunity."

Gone Phishing

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

Amateur Spam.

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

Canadian wildfires

"You'd have thought they'd have all slept with each other by now."

'Investing in a company whose website is Ponzischeme.come would raise red flags for me.'

Get rich quick giving seminars!

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

"Great neighborhood. You're only minutes away from a yoga studio."

'But monsieur I can get it for you so cheap, all the hard work has been done, it just needs the cladding.'

The Ultimate Crime

Maynard inadvertently goes phishing.

"Yes, you are speaking to university admissions!"

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

'Earn Dollars a Day by Doing Absolutely Nothing!'