Internet Cafe Goer Gifts

"We don't serve food here, we only photograph it..."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"I'd say business was brisk."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

"Look, Mom! A broadband digital subscriber line followed me home. Can we keep it?"

I know why you're such a greedy, heartless scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense to expect from muscle-bound oaf who hadn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.

Banana Split

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

'At the Spoonerism cafe...' 'Ah - here comes my carrots and peas.'

He had wandered into the wrong cartoon again.

Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.

"When you say everything is 'Wicked good' it feels like you're patronizing us."

"Builder's tea? Due to an unforeseen rise in material costs, that'll be £22.40."

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

What's that annoying sound? BEEEP. I've figured it out! I lost one of my cell phones. It's somewhere in the caf

"You'll love this internet cafe. It's got great blogosphere."

"Crumble an empire on that!"

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

"I knew you'd like this place."

Overly pierced man in a lot of pain.

"Hot chocolate, straight. ...make it a double."

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

Roast beef sandwich, peppermint tea and don't wake me until 2:30. Lunch makes me sleepy. I will not read Dr. Seuss! Move the register so I can lie down.

Hot chocolate. Huh? What? Uh, sure. What's the matter? Are you sad? You look sad. No, no. I'm fine. Hot chocolate coming up. Oh, okay. I'm definitely not sad. How come adults won't say when they're sad? I am the opposite of sad.