Cyber Café Lover Gifts

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Coffee Menu

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

Lunch

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"Darling Elizabeth! How I long to hold you betwixt my giant industrial clamps."

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

'A sandwich?'

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

Wall St. Café, Happy Hour 24-7.

Accordionist at work and in cafe.

"Before we go any further, I must warn you that this is not a secure network."

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

Two mice teasing a computer mouse for being different.

Everybody tells me to 'get lost' - except for the Inland Revenue.

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

England's Cafe Culture

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

I'm thinking of suing your caf

"Omigod- that's your dirty little secret? That you have a trust fund?"

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"