Chatty Cafe Lover Gifts

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Do you have any catsup?'

Hats and Food

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Coffee Menu

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

Lunch

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'A sandwich?'

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

The Lesser Pyramids

Accordionist at work and in cafe.

Wall St. Café, Happy Hour 24-7.

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

"Hmm... Do I get it?"

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

Everybody tells me to 'get lost' - except for the Inland Revenue.

"Omigod- that's your dirty little secret? That you have a trust fund?"

England's Cafe Culture

Eat it while it's still £6.50.