Chatty Cafe Lover Gifts

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Do you have any catsup?'

Hats and Food

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Coffee Menu

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

Lunch

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'A sandwich?'

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

The Lesser Pyramids

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

Accordionist at work and in cafe.

Wall St. Café, Happy Hour 24-7.

"Hmm... Do I get it?"

I'm thinking of suing your caf

England's Cafe Culture

"Omigod- that's your dirty little secret? That you have a trust fund?"

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

Everybody tells me to 'get lost' - except for the Inland Revenue.

Eat it while it's still £6.50.