Insurance Policy Reader Gifts

"My career doesn't reflect what my passions are as much as where my health insurance is."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Stop and Birch

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

'Wait. . . wouldn't the Golden Harp be covered under the giant's homeowner's insurance?'

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

"No I'm afraid your health insurance doesn't cover this."

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"

Misread medical policy.

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

"Thank God we're insured"

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'Wow, one hundred knee reconstructions: You're going to make me way richer!'

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

"Absolute bummer of a day. . . have you ever tried getting life insurance when you're supposed to be extinct?"

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

'Which is worse - no pre-existing condition coverage. . . or no health insurance?'

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

'Is this gonna raise my premium?'