Insurance Policy Enthusiast Gifts

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

'Everybody is pulling for you. Here's a card from the life insurance company.'

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

"Now here's a difficult case. Her vitals are strong, but her HMO is weak."

'I can't examine you, but your health insurance does allow you access to a self-diagnosing website.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

Insurance restrictions.

'I monitor healthcare coverage changes hot off the wire.'

"Was the petrol insured?"

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

Medicare: More is Better!