Insurance Policy Navigator Gifts

"Who's got the best insurance?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'You're allergic to feathers.'

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''

'It guides you through the halls of bureaucracy.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"No I'm afraid your health insurance doesn't cover this."

Medicaid Expansion: "Better not take the risk, you never know when the well's going to run dry..."

"The good news is your husband is covered by insurance....The bad news is he suffered a mental breakdown from the registration process."

"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

Controversial Boxes

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

Desk Organizers: 'Comply with Government Regulations and Guidelines.'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'The memo said we can't eat at our desk. Didn't say anything about cooking.'

'We're going to need a specialist. To help fill in the insurance form.'

'The bad news is, during open enrollment we get to choose between our uncaring, inconvenient plan or another one that's just as bad or worse.'

"Yes, it is a very large bill. Unfortunately, the doctor who gave you a second opinion charges ten times what I do."

"Gone fishing for a small-business loan"

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"So, as you can see, health care is so complicated you may never get well."