Insurance Loophole Navigator Gifts

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"No offence Jon, but..."

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

'You're allergic to feathers.'

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

'It guides you through the halls of bureaucracy.'

'Wait a minute! Our balance sheet is completely fictious, our profit is based on faked numbers and our register of companies entry is pure nonsense? In that case, they can't sue us for tax evasion because we don't exist!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I can't respond to a hypothetical question."

"The good news is your husband is covered by insurance....The bad news is he suffered a mental breakdown from the registration process."

Controversial Boxes

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'The memo said we can't eat at our desk. Didn't say anything about cooking.'

"You get 12 sick days, 4 personal days and 2 'wardrobe malfunctions'."

"We're happy that you got great news on your tests. We're still sending in our grievance counselor to help you cope with your medical bill, though."

"So, as you can see, health care is so complicated you may never get well."

'My lawyer says he's pretty sure this is police entrapment.'

IRS Auditing, 10 loopholes or less.

'I'm referring you to tech assistance to help figure out your insurance options.'

"What this law firm needs is an app that can tweak the law in our favor."

"Instead of auditing you, I'd like to buy your tax secrets."

'I still haven't built up a tolerance for medical co-payments.'