Insurance Navigator Gifts

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"Could you prescribe something to help me figure out my Part D drug coverage?"

"The good news is your husband is covered by insurance....The bad news is he suffered a mental breakdown from the registration process."

'We stopped the bleeding, but he'll continue to hemorrhage money for several months.'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"So, as you can see, health care is so complicated you may never get well."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'Oh nurse, this patient wants discuss his health care options.'

'I still haven't built up a tolerance for medical co-payments.'

Surgeon shouting 'Megabucks!'

'It's $19.95 for the pills and $79.95 for the anti-side effect medication.'

"This is for patients who get their bill."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"I am not asking for directions."

Titanic: How's my steering.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Battery Lighthouse

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"