Insurance Policy Geek Gifts

"So, how much would I get, if he was accidentally pushed down the stairs?"

"Good boy."

Mario Draghi

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Tariffs"

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

The Public Option

Tree of Public Opinion.

From Street Walker to Call Girl

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"