Insurance Geek Gifts

Insurance Broker - "Mrs Dumpty,there's nothing in the policy about walls."

'You have an insurance deficiency.'

"Weird - my targeted ads just changed to casts and slings and insurance."

'I'd climb down if I were you -- the King just canceled your insurance.'

Knight Supplies

"You can't classify the damage as a Act of God; I'm an atheist!"

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Uncle Sam and health care.

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"