Insurance Nerd Gifts

Half Life Insurance.

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

'Any pre-existing illnesses?'

"One kind of insurance I won't be needing is flight insurance."

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"It's okay. I've got pet insurance."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

Uncle Sam and health care.

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'