Insurance Nerd Prints

Half Life Insurance.

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

'Any pre-existing illnesses?'

I had to drop my health insurance... Thank goodness I still have my beer insurance!

You're right, Mr. Fusco. Your health insurance does cover pre-existing conditions. So, honestly, how long have you been a wolverine?

"One kind of insurance I won't be needing is flight insurance."

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"It's okay. I've got pet insurance."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

The Public Option

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

Uncle Sam and health care.

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!