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"So, how much would I get, if he was accidentally pushed down the stairs?"

"Good boy."

Mario Draghi

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"Tariffs"

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

Tree of Public Opinion.

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'