Instruction Literalist Gifts

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

'I like thinking inside the box.'

"What can you do with him?"

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

Manual Worker

'When it said in her profile that she's a cosmo girl, I had something entirely different in mind!'

It's not a figure of speech - this is the corporate ladder.

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'When I said, throw him out, I didn't mean it literally.'

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"I took your advice."

The town of Irony, Pennsylvania has long been known for being very literal,

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

Society for Taking Things a bit too Literally.

STRIP Hambone: Flossing the keyboard

And it goes without saying that...

'I don't get it, Dad. If grandma's not a card player, then why did you say she's not dealing with a full deck?'

"Maybe if you'd read the instructions then you'd be able to solve it."

"You asked if I could type blood."

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

'Well, you told me not to walk through the kitchen in muddy boots!'

Bus Stop (bus hovering overhead)

Ernie, that's not what he meant when he said, "Listen closely to what I'm going to tell you."