Literal Thinkers Gifts

"I took your advice."

"You asked if I could type blood."

BREAK GLASS - for broken glass

Man watches his hat and coat but fails to watch his lunch.

'Hey, I just followed the directions.'

'When I said, throw him out, I didn't mean it literally.'

'I like thinking inside the box.'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Reasonableman

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'In my opinion, you're either part of the problem or part of the solution. Unless, of course, you're Jones, who thinks he can just float above it all!'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

Andre Gide.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

Thinking outside the cubicle

"What can you do with him?"

"FREEDOM!!!"

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

A rose is a rose is a rose

"I don't know how this ends. . ."

"I beg to differ."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

'When it said in her profile that she's a cosmo girl, I had something entirely different in mind!'

Posters of the Sahara

"Religion: Man's attempt to make sense of a frightening universe. Science: See 'Religion'."