Literalism Admirer Gifts

And it goes without saying that...

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

John Bunyan

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"Oh, this old thing?"

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

Treasure Island Book.

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Moby Dick

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Trilby - Finis