Inked Evangelist Gifts

Holier Than Thou

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Guitars in Heaven

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

The Ordered List

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

Will work for manure.

"It was a gift from god."

Man at job interview has spider-web, skull and dagger cartoons on his face. He says: 'I really don't think a few tattoos matter, in this day and age.'

"I got inked my most hilarious cartoon."

'It's a military tattoo!'

"Before I share the meaning of life with Dave, let's take some calls from our viewers around the world."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"

Angry Dog Tattoo

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

9 To 5 Tattoo.

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

"Wow! Why do you have no tattoos?"

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

"How may I hurt you?"

"This space intentionally left blank."