Inked Evangelist Pillows

Holier Than Thou

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

Quills - Sizes 1-9

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

The Ordered List

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"It was a gift from god."

Will work for manure.

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"

Angry Dog Tattoo

Man at job interview has spider-web, skull and dagger cartoons on his face. He says: 'I really don't think a few tattoos matter, in this day and age.'

"I got inked my most hilarious cartoon."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

'It's a military tattoo!'

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

9 To 5 Tattoo.

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

"How may I hurt you?"

"Wow! Why do you have no tattoos?"

This will never work. Our tattoos don't match.