Ink Devotee Gifts

"I kept forgetting my library card, so I had the barcode tattooed on my arm!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Angry Dog Tattoo

I've got half a mind to get one. As my old man would say...that's probably all you'd need.

Man at job interview has spider-web, skull and dagger cartoons on his face. He says: 'I really don't think a few tattoos matter, in this day and age.'

"Just to be sure, before I finish inking, is it a solid, long-term relationship?"

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Where Indian ink came from.

Happy Hour

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

Penny

"Whoa! Was that today?"

Shakespeare in the clink

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

'I ink, therefore I am....'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"

Printers

3:00 pm - Meet the author

The Coffee Tattoo

Trees tattoo

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'