Impromptu Comedians Gifts

'Harlow, perhaps you should go back to SMOKING!'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Am I sensing fear?"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Astronaut plants flag and deflates the moon.

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Canoeing Incorrectly

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."

Snake pulls prank posing for photo

Can You Dance?

"It just started as a list of his faults, and just evolved into a horror novel."

'Sorry, we serve beer in glasses only. Not in the toilet flush.'

"Good morning, world!"

"Morning! Are the fish biting?"

"Underarm! Underarm!"

"Turns out the sound of the squeaky toy was coming from inside the house."

'My previous school only had a single-decker walking bus.'

'My wife thinks I'm at the men's wear store. I told her I was going to get a belt.'