Impromptu Comedians Pillows

'Harlow, perhaps you should go back to SMOKING!'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

Astronaut plants flag and deflates the moon.

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

Canoeing Incorrectly

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."

Can You Dance?

'Sorry, we serve beer in glasses only. Not in the toilet flush.'

"Morning! Are the fish biting?"

"It just started as a list of his faults, and just evolved into a horror novel."

"Good morning, world!"

"Underarm! Underarm!"

"Turns out the sound of the squeaky toy was coming from inside the house."

'My previous school only had a single-decker walking bus.'

'It's OK. It's halibut.' 'OK. It's Hal. But what?' 'He's still a fish!'

'My wife thinks I'm at the men's wear store. I told her I was going to get a belt.'