Amateur Comedians Pillows

A couple sitting beside the fireplace

Snake pulls prank posing for photo

"Billions of migrants will invade Europe!!"

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

"The last doggy bag."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"And I suppose my greatest feature is that I don't mind kissing a little booty to get ahead!"

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

A smart alec boy

Canoeing Incorrectly

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd played catch with me more.'

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'