Impressionist Fan Gifts

Paul Cezanne

Farmyard impressions: 'I don't do the sounds, I do the smells.'

Vincent Van Gogh in the form of a Van.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Feel better, dear?"

Vincent Van Goat.

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

"I have to say candidate two made a very good impression."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Farmer's looking at paintings of haystacks.

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

"So, how's your other half?"

"Lou, c'm'ere - you gotta check out this guy's Degas!"

Monet in the '90s.

Maurice Ravel.

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

"It's obviously an original."

Houdini's Dog

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'So, Vincent, who is your target market?'

Edgar Degas

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'It sold for how much!'

Monet At Open Mic Night

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

"We met at the Monet exhibits!"

Galerie de Commerce: Invoices of the Post-Impressionists

"Kiss me. I'm Claude Monet."

"The sad truth… Ow! My ear!"

Van Gogh.