Imaginative Pet Lover Gifts

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

Cat king.

Artists Cats

"He ran out of pee."

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

"No more nuts and bolts for you!"

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

When Pugs dream.

Dog Thoughts

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

Self-walking dog

Dreaming pets.

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"Too goth?"

"I believe we've entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership."

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Dinosaur dig 'Pet cemetery'