Hydrant Comedian Gifts

"I can't stand the way it's taunting us!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

No Soliciting

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Hydration

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

Life Imitates Arf....

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

"... But, Derek. The travel agent told us not to drink the water!"

"Does the radar make my backside look big?"

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

'Ill you knock it off and do what comes naturally?'

Knight with a tap in his armour.

Fisherman to friend about to be devoured by shark: 'Bill, are you familiar with the health benefits of shark cartilage?'

Dog statue being unveiled at a fire hydrant company opening

Last Hydrant for 10 Blocks

"The Yelp reviews of this hydrant are off the charts."

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"