Hydrant Comedian Pillows

"I can't stand the way it's taunting us!"

No Soliciting

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Hydration

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

Life Imitates Arf....

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"Does the radar make my backside look big?"

"... But, Derek. The travel agent told us not to drink the water!"

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

Knight with a tap in his armour.

'Ill you knock it off and do what comes naturally?'

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"

Last Hydrant for 10 Blocks

"The Yelp reviews of this hydrant are off the charts."

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

Fisherman to friend about to be devoured by shark: 'Bill, are you familiar with the health benefits of shark cartilage?'