Hydrant Humorist Gifts

'It'll take us forever to fill that thing up again ... '

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'I guess it was only a matter of time before it sought revenge.'

"OK so - this might sound kinda crazy - but what do you think of me peeing on you?"

'What do you think of my new place? It's a 1 bedroom, 3 bathroom.'

"Is there another table that isn't so close to the bathroom?"

"If I run a little water, maybe that will help."

'Come on, Marmaduke. You don't own the hydrant any more than the crow does.'

'Piss off!'

'Ill you knock it off and do what comes naturally?'

'Meet me at our regular watering hole.'

'Are you sure? Because we won't pass another one until we get to 4th and Elm.'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

Dog tied up near a hydrant.

Last Hydrant for 10 Blocks

A dog sniffs a fire hydrant with a transgender symbol

Keep coming … keep coming … a little farther … Ok, ok, stop, you're good right there.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

The way dogs see it

"The Yelp reviews of this hydrant are off the charts."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"