Humorous Pirate Encounters Gifts

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Pirates at the mall.

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Distractions.

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

"Say 'Arrr.'"

"That's the flag we'll fly atop our pirate ship!"

'Forget it! — I'm not sailing all the way back to Europe just to get you a box of crackers!'

"Shake yer booty!"

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

Pirated mirrors.

Introducing: Eye-Quit. The Nicotine Patch for Pirates...

"I want you to be my right-hand, leg and eye man."

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

Sailor with a wooden leg leaves his rowboat tied to a pier that is labeled with a disabled parking sign.

"So leaving it with a broker didn't do any good at all?"

Moo like a Pirate Day

"What happened to women and children first?"

Doctor telling pirate he has termites in his wooden leg.

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

Pirate

"It's talk like a pirate day."

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."