Humorous Injury Tales Gifts

'So in hindsight, maybe not the best idea...'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

'It's an old work injury.'

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

'Occupation?'

'Should we abstain from sex?'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'Very funny!'

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

Cricketer battered after facing an over from a fast bowler.

Finishing line cuts open athlete.

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

'No I won't kiss it better!'

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!

'He tried to jump over the net.'

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

'It's bad enough that you dropped your end of the stretcher, but did you have to yell 'BOMBS AWAY'?'

'Sylvia? It's Allen. Listen, I accidentally left the shop with a knee ligament kit...Yeah, yeah, I know. I am an idiot. Anyway, could you send someone out pronto with the kit for rotator cuffs?'

'I went to give a high five - missed the other guy's hand - and hit the rim of the dugout.'

Doctor talks to face that is halfway down man's body: 'I'm afraid the face transplant has not quite taken.'