Injury Storyteller Gifts

"What happened?" "I kept my eye on the ball."

"I warned him that I was a green belt in karate, then he warned me that he was a black belt!"

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

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'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

Basketball injuries.

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Stretcher Header.

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

'Should we abstain from sex?'

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

'Chainsaw Championships.'

Marcus Rashford

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'