Injury Story Collector Gifts

'I went to give a high five - missed the other guy's hand - and hit the rim of the dugout.'

Cricketer battered after facing an over from a fast bowler.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

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"Thank you for making my decision to fire you, that much easier."

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

"It's a Plodcast!"

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"Policing's not what it was..."

'We're lucky, really - it could be raining.'

Stolen Crime Books.

"Oh, and a five and five ones."

"She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture..."

'Should we abstain from sex?'

Prompts on the Antiques Roadshow.

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

Finishing line cuts open athlete.