Accident Anecdote Collector Gifts

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

'I did it at the skill centre'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"I've been window-shopping..."

Newton discovers surrealism

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

Car crashed into warning sign

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

"Ha, ha, wait … so Cheryl from accounting, ha, ha, ha, is your, ha, ha, wife?!!"

Cricketer battered after facing an over from a fast bowler.

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

On this Day in 1959 Life suddenly gave lemons to Bob Muscovitch, a Detroit engineer. Sadly, Bob did not have a chance to make lemonade.

Golfing Accident

'I went to give a high five - missed the other guy's hand - and hit the rim of the dugout.'

'Can you hang on for half an hour? We're still waiting for the reality TV crew to turn up'

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

"I didn't know that entering this country required a visa. I only brought cash."

'It's amazing, the way we met. I had just finished reading his bumper sticker 'Let's not meet by accident' when I tail-gated him.'

Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...

'Hey, I'm glad to see you're still here. I thought you'd died!'

"This is nothing - you should see my driving instructor!"

'Can you get our insurance policy out? I want to check to see if it covers dog bites.'

'Look see? There's viola! Don't look right at her!'

'You're not going to believe this,Doc!'

"Note to self: Do not flush train toilets while still sitting on the seat."