Anecdote Collector Gifts

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Hot cross buns

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"I've been window-shopping..."

Who's Dead

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

Newton discovers surrealism

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"Without the drone we wouldn't have made it on time!"

A frog catches an insect truck.

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

"She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture..."

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

Napkin Writer

"I just invented this. I call it "freezer bag"."

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

Ramblers Association

Prompts on the Antiques Roadshow.

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'