Anecdote Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't you remember? We were at Herb and Sally's."

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

Napkin Writer

"I just invented this. I call it "freezer bag"."

'I gave Brian his marching orders last night and he goose-stepped round the bedroom!'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

'In general, do the right thing.'

'Caesar salad?'

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Dreams I have had...

Hot cross buns

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

The Month of July

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

Newton discovers surrealism

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

"Did you know mice teeth never stop growing? You do now."

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

'How can I enjoy 'Jeopardy' when she keeps blurting out the answers?'

Food Chain Gang

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!