Collecting Anecdotes Gifts

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"I've been window-shopping..."

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Newton discovers surrealism

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

"I just invented this. I call it "freezer bag"."

Napkin Writer

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

"She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture..."

Sooner or Later

'This is for a different book.'

'Could you just sign it 'Bobby'.'

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

He began with an anecdote, spoke off the cuff, digressed from an aside, and flew off on a tangent.

"Fee fi fo fiddle, i feel the need to piddle!"

The Emperor's New Plane.

'I gave Brian his marching orders last night and he goose-stepped round the bedroom!'

"Don't you remember? We were at Herb and Sally's."