Collecting Anecdotes Gifts

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"I've been window-shopping..."

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Newton discovers surrealism

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

"She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture..."

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

"I just invented this. I call it "freezer bag"."

Napkin Writer

'This is for a different book.'

He began with an anecdote, spoke off the cuff, digressed from an aside, and flew off on a tangent.

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

"It appears your credit card expired 18 years ago Mr. Van Winkle. Would you care to pay for the alarm clock in cash?"

Sooner or Later

'Could you just sign it 'Bobby'.'

The Emperor's New Plane.

"Fee fi fo fiddle, i feel the need to piddle!"

'I gave Brian his marching orders last night and he goose-stepped round the bedroom!'

Motivational Speaker Series. He ends all of this anecdotes with an inspirational message. The morale of the story.