Emergency Anecdote Enthusiast Gifts

Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"My God, now what?"

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

'Oh - It's you.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

"I've got a pulse!"

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"We ran into a marathon."

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

'Please, everyone, stand back to give the register some air. We've had a glitch.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'