Animal Anecdote Collector Gifts

'Can you get our insurance policy out? I want to check to see if it covers dog bites.'

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

The Fourth Little Pig

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

Newton discovers surrealism

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

"Whoever said you can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? (hiccup)

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Sorry, what was that?'

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"Yes, I know son, I've been through that too: Sometimes, we are resented for being clever..."

"And here with the grizzly details."

If the mouse hole's a-rockin', don

"Well Doc, maybe I'm losing my mind, but last night, as I was howling at the Moo, I could have sworn I saw a cow jumping over it!"

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

"I told him that whole elephants being afraid of us thing was just a myth. But did he listen? Now look at him. What a putz."

'Sheep love tales very much.'