Animal Anecdote Collector Gifts

'Can you get our insurance policy out? I want to check to see if it covers dog bites.'

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

The Fourth Little Pig

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Newton discovers surrealism

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Sorry, what was that?'

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"Yes, I know son, I've been through that too: Sometimes, we are resented for being clever..."

"And here with the grizzly details."

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

"Well Doc, maybe I'm losing my mind, but last night, as I was howling at the Moo, I could have sworn I saw a cow jumping over it!"

"I told him that whole elephants being afraid of us thing was just a myth. But did he listen? Now look at him. What a putz."

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

'Sheep love tales very much.'

'Ok - she cut off our tails - she's not crazy about us - are we gonna let that ruin our lives?'