Animal Story Collector Gifts

Homeless pig sells 'The Pig Issue'by sign which reads: 'Made homeless by the big bad wolf.Please help.'

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Half & Half Way House: After being paroled from prison, Bessie starts her journey back into main stream society.

"And here with the grizzly details."

"The tests show you're not a swan, kid. You're just a really ugly duckling."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- King Of The Commune

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'All of your previous employers said you are very loyal.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

"Whoever said you can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? (hiccup)

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.