Animal Story Appreciator Gifts

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Laboratory Retriever

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Say cheese!

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"His tests show he has a latex allergy."

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

Rabbits picknick

'She's still trying to decide if she likes you or not.'

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"I think we feed to many vitamins to Tweety"

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

"Get ready."

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

Musical Dog

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"I may be a newt, but I'm still King -- find that witch!"

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the upcoming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

"Well Doc, maybe I'm losing my mind, but last night, as I was howling at the Moo, I could have sworn I saw a cow jumping over it!"

"And here with the grizzly details."

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.