Animal Story Appreciator Gifts

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Laboratory Retriever

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- King Of The Commune

Say cheese!

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"His tests show he has a latex allergy."

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

David Attenborough

Rabbits picknick

'She's still trying to decide if she likes you or not.'

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

"I think we feed to many vitamins to Tweety"

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

Musical Dog

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"Get ready."

"I may be a newt, but I'm still King -- find that witch!"

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the upcoming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'

'I thought he was passing out homework!'

"Well Doc, maybe I'm losing my mind, but last night, as I was howling at the Moo, I could have sworn I saw a cow jumping over it!"