Humorous Grumbling Gifts

Allotment owners AGM - 'Rhubarb, rhubarb,rhubarb,...'

Flyfishing for dummies.

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'I hate my life.

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Old Man Journal

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'I know how you feel.'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Self-help books for cynics'

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

A Grumble Bee

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."

"It's Monday."

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"Sorry, my mind was wandering. Were we complaining about today's youth, the government or the weather?"

'Marriage is sharing, Carol, so I'm happy you earn twice as much as me.'

'No, nothing permanent. Just maybe spend a little less time together each day, that's all.'

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

Bad King Wenceslas

"You say every Winter is your 'Winter of discontent'."

I don't know what my beef is today...