Morning Grumble Guru Gifts

"It's Monday."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Old Man Journal

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'Cheer up...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.