Morning Grumble Guru Pillows

"It's Monday."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

The Cat's Alarm Clock

You have the worst spring breath.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Old Man Journal

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'Cheer up...'

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"