Morning Grump Pillows

'Sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.' 'Ahhhhhh!'

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"Dang it."

Howie unwittingly gets up on the wrong side of the bed.

"Until I've had my coffee, I'm only capable of talking about coffee."

'Don't get me decaffeinated... you wouldn't like me when I'm decaffeinated!!!'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

Alarm clock.

'I'm not a morning person. I can't rise until I've had my coffee.'

"Why can't you hide behind a newspaper at breakfast like any normal man?"

Alarm clock

'Never, Ever...make the mistake of setting your alarm for 3:00 a.m. if you intend to get up at 7:00 a.m.'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"I didn't say anything. That was yesterday..."

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'It's not the dog's fault; the newspaper went to capsule form, and he swallowed it!'

"The only reason I let your father read at the table is because I don't want to see his face while I have my breakfast."

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

'Oh-oh -- the Cap'n got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!'

'Ready for your performance-enhancing drug?'

"He just woke up from hibernation."

"You look like I need a drink."

9:00 AM - BEFORE first cup of coffee and 10:00 AM - AFTER second cup of coffee.

"Oh, well. . . Guess I'll have to throw out the coffee I made for her, since I don't drink the stuff!"

Broken Alarm Clock.

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

Tease-Maid - Wakey wakey four-eyes!

'Just ignore him. He can be really frosty first thing in the morning.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'I just heard the first x!!xz!! cuckoo!'

'Now who in the world would call me at this time in the morning!'

'Ready for your performance-enhancing drug?'

"Wake up! It's Valentine's Day!"

Could you call back later? He doesn't even talk to me before 11am.