Morning Grumpiness Connoisseur Pillows

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

You have the worst spring breath.

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Grumpy old merry men.

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

"You have the Hum bug.'

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"He just woke up from hibernation."

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.' 'Ahhhhhh!'

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."