Morning Grumpiness Connoisseur Pillows

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

Grumpy old merry men.

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"You have the Hum bug.'

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

'Self-help books for cynics'

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'