Morning Grumpiness Appreciator Pillows

Shoot - coffee still not invented yet.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

You have the worst spring breath.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

'Cheer up...'

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

'Sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.' 'Ahhhhhh!'

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."