Morning Grumpiness Appreciator Pillows

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

'Cheer up...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'